Tonight I dreamt that you drove me out of town and hanged me.
Some of it is quite vague, some of it not. This is what I remember.
You turned off the engine by an abandoned farm deep in the forest.
It was a very hot day and I was wearing a very thin white summer dress. You pulled it up as you bent me over a barrel or something, kicked my bare feet apart and penetrated me... I remember watching my braids swinging back and forth above the old wooden floor of the barn. Never stopping what you were doing to me you pulled my arms behind my back and tied them tightly wrists-to-elbows with wet ropes. For tiny moments your firm hands denied me air as you oiled my slender neck, causing my throat to make sweet choking sounds in between soft moans. I remember the thick hemp rope was so oily it dripped from your fingers when you tied my noose. You paused, pressing your hips against my soft bottom as you slid the rope over my head with one hand on my arms. The slipknot was wet and heavy between my slender shoulder blades. You lifted it and started to move again... Harder, keeping me in place by the oily noose which changed the sound of my moans as it hurt my larynx.
I remember the ropes around my wrists and elbows tightening as they dried... and that I was standing perfectly still when you tied my ankles, and then my thighs right below the dress edge.
The noose slid so smoothly over the oily skin of my little neck... it hurt a little bit when it slipped over my larynx. With a calming hand on my shoulder you grabbed the slipknot and moved it a little back and forth between my ears. The rope felt so good as it slid over the sensitive skin. You placed the wet slipknot at my left ear, so that the loop went from my earlobe, under the left edge of my trembling jaw, all the way around my neck and back into the big slipknot. At this stage I sensed, I almost tasted what would come. The salty taste of a sweet hanging. My whole body was at alert. My breath was deep and rapid. My eyes wide open.
Nothing could stop the merciless noose sliding deeper and deeper up under my chattering teeth, constricting my windpipe, forcing my tongue so hard up against my palate. My head was locked into a sharp tilt and a small cracking sound from my spine resonated through the tight rope. My 58 kilos made the thick old wood of the beam high above answer. As the noose took over all my weight, excess oil was squeezed from the big slipknot, running into my left ear and down over my chest, making my boobs visible through the wet fabric. At the very moment my bare toes lost contact with the floorboards you secured the rope. You were so close to me. You touched me. Caressed me. My slippery neck. My left cheek by the tight slipknot. Let my braids glide through your fingers. You hugged me. Your hanged girl. Your hogtied, hanged girl. I was uneasy. An uneasy young girl in the gallows. My despair resulted in a hopeless little dance. You hugged me and whispered comforting words in my ear, calming me down. Told me to relax. To enjoy my hanging. To feel the noose take me away. Your helping hands gave my bare shoulders some extra weight as you encouraged me to give up. To hang. You told me that I looked so good in my rope. That I belonged in your gallows. I calmed down. Found rest. I felt it. It felt right. I was your hanged girl.
I could not feel your big caressing hands walk over me. Did not feel you cutting the ropes around my bare legs, or how you lifted my knees...
In my dream you took me. You took all of me.
Thanks to editor MephMarwood
It WAS like I was right there!!!!!
Note/disclaimer from "editor": not only was there no developmental or substantive editing involved, this lovely piece barely needed a light copy edit: a small handful of verb tense/aspect adjustments and a few tweaks for idiomatic usage. What I would have given to be able to write such a fully formed piece by my forties – and in a foreign language no less . . . . and at her age . . . . how irritating is that?
I say it's high time that showing up one's elders like this be made a hanging offense. Not that that would have much of a deterrent effect on Una.